Who would ever have imagined Nancy Pelosi as a card-carrying Moderate member of the Democrat party? The new Speaker of the House represents a district on the Left Coast, and many in the political arena feel as if she embodies the epitome of Progressive causes. Turns out there are some newly-elected Congresspersons doing their dead-level best to make her politics seem almost mainstream.

On Day One of the new Congressional session, a cadre of Nancy’s colleagues introduced Articles of Impeachment against President Trump. In a subsequent meeting with The Donald, Ms. Pelosi apparently made it clear to him that the House wasn’t going to impeach him – at least not with the current information available. She did leave open the impeachment possibility when and if Mr. Mueller ever submits his investigative report.

A freshly-minted Representative who is very proud of being labeled a radical has drawn a lot of national attention for her suggestion that the top individual tax rate be raised to about 70% to help pay for all manner of social and energy-related programs. When asked if that thinking represented the new norm for Democrats, the Speaker replied that those thoughts really only reflected one district in New York and didn’t necessarily mirror the nation as a whole.

What really might have been fun these past few weeks would have been to have had a hidden microphone in the caucus rooms where Democrats met to discuss everything from electing new leadership to introducing what the participants hoped to accomplish in 2019. Ms. Pelosi would certainly have wanted to hear what everyone had to say, but perhaps the conversations with a few of the newest members might have sounded something like this:

PELOSI: Congratulations to all of you, and thank you for being here to voice your concerns.

REP 1: How soon can we impeach the *#!!%%@# in the White House?

PELOSI: Yes, I know that’s on the minds of many of you, and while your question is very colorfully phrased, I don’t know if that’s the right tactic at this time.

REP 2: Can we pass anything we want to?

PELOSI: We can discuss anything. Passage of any bill does require a majority of members to agree.

REP 2: Well, that’s no good. Why can’t we just do what we want?

PELOSI: If it were up to me, we would, but there is still the Constitution we have to abide by, and it does have certain rules.

REP 3: I think we need to change some of those. Like if we tell Trump the Chump he has to release his tax returns, he should have to do it.

REP 4: Yeah. And let’s make him get a buzz haircut while we’re at it.

REP 2: I want to replace Air Force One with a Piper Cub 2-seater. And Mike Pence gets a motorcycle with a sidecar to ride in.

REP 1: Now you’re talking. Let’s make Mr. Orange Hair drive a used Chevy Impala and get rid of that fancy Cadillac.

REP 4: Look at that. We already saved a bunch of money. So now we can have free healthcare and free college – at least for all Democrats. Republicans can fend for themselves.

REP 3: What if we also say that every Wednesday everybody gets a free quarter-pounder, large fries, and medium diet drink, you know, to keep it healthy?

PELOSI: Well, those are some really very interesting propositions, but I don’t think . . .

REP 2: How ’bout this? Forget that stupid wall. Anybody that sets foot in the U.S. can vote. And they get a new 55” HDTV. Sort of a welcome gift.

REP 1: Here’s one: Those people can vote, but Brett Kavanagh can’t. His opinion doesn’t count on any Supreme Court cases.

REP 4: Speaking of voting, the Senate no longer matters.

PELOSI: Again, I feel the need to point out the Constitution.

REP 4: Hey, we’re the People’s House, right?

PELOSI: Well, yes.

REP 4: Case closed.

PELOSI: I’m pretty sure the President might have something to say about all this.

REP 3: That’s another thing. This year’s State of the Union Address? Let Trump mail it in. We don’t want to have to sit and listen to him.

REP 2: Now you’re talking.

PELOSI: As much as I appreciate what you’re trying to do here, perhaps we shouldn’t try and do everything immediately.

REP 1: Hmmm. Maybe you’re right. Let’s give the Speaker ’til April, guys.

ALL: Agreed. That’s only fair. Works for me.

PELOSI: Well, it’s a start. Going be an interesting year.


No kidding.


©MMXIX. William J. Lewis, III – Freelance Writer