Regular readers of this space might recall a recent possible conversation between Republican and Democratic powerbrokers who occasionally break bread together in a dark corner of a fancy Washington, D.C., eatery. When last they met a few weeks ago, they were lamenting how dull this election season was. That was then. This is now. Given recent political news, today’s dialogue might be a wee bit different. Maybe a current lunchtime conversation would go something like this:

REPUBLICAN: So, are you busy?

DEMOCRAT: Got one or two things going on, why?

REP: You guys certainly know how to liven up a campaign.

DEM: We try our best.

REP: Out of curiosity, are you officially ready to anoint Harris?

DEM: We’re working on it.

REP: Just so you know, we’d be okay with Joe reconsidering and staying in the race.

DEM: Good to know. But I don’t see that happening.

REP: You ARE aware Kamala’s poll numbers are lower than Biden’s, right?

DEM: As I said, we’re working on it.

REP: Let me ask you something. Suppose George H.W. Bush had pulled a Biden in 1992, and we suddenly fawned all over Vice President Dan Quayle and made him our nominee?

DEM: Whoa! A cringe-worthy supposition.

REP: Welcome to our world now.

DEM: Totally different people and situation.

REP: You say potato, we say potahto. On another note, I trust you saw our convention.

DEM: I might have tuned in now and again. Seemed well-scripted . . . until the end. The Trumpster does enjoy the sound of his own voice, doesn’t he? I didn’t think he’d ever finish that speech.

REP: Hey, at least we have a nominee to give a speech.

DEM: I’m sure our delegates in Chicago will provide us with a sure winner.

REP: Speaking of Chicago, how’s that going to work?

DEM: The rules say the delegates can vote their conscience.

REP: And is their conscience telling them to pick Kamala or go home?

DEM: We’ll just have to see.

REP: Just between you and me, do you really think Harris is presidential material?

DEM: The Vice President has been a loyal supporter of all the successful Biden policies.

REP: A short list, to be sure. And that really doesn’t answer the question. Just wondering, has she fixed the border yet? That was her big task, wasn’t it?

DEM: At least she hasn’t been convicted of a crime.

REP: Speaking of Hunter, is Joe going to serve out the rest of his term or just stay in office long enough to get a round of applause in Chicago and to pardon his son?

DEM: Why do you ask?

REP: I’m curious by nature.

DEM: Don’t give me that. You’re afraid Biden will step down and make Kamala the new President right before the election.

REP: It has crossed my mind. I know you don’t really want her and her word salad out on the campaign trail. If she ascends to the throne, she can simply say she’s too busy to campaign and that surrogates can handle the speeches on the stump.

DEM: Well, now, that is a novel thought.

REP: As if it’s not already in your playbook.

DEM: I plead the 5th.

REP: Suppose the Chicago delegates aren’t lemmings? What are you going to do, replace a female person of color with a boring white guy? Aren’t you the party that wrote the book on woke?

DEM: We are well-aware and proud of our impeccable record of diversity, equity, and inclusiveness.

REP: Hey, here’s a thought. What if something really crazy happens and somebody like AOC or another Squad member catches on in Chicago and ends up being nominated?

DEM: Not gonna happen.

REP: Wow, you answered that fast.

DEM: What I meant to say is, again, all delegates can vote as their principles and ethics dictate.

REP:  Good save.

DEM: Thanks.

REP: Yeah. I’m not sure the Obamas, Clintons, and their friends would let anything crazy happen. What about the other Joe making noise? The Democrat-turned-Independent-turned-Democrat from West Virginia?

DEM: Senator Manchin is more than welcome back into the big tent that is the Democrat party.

REP: Is HE a contender for the nomination?

DEM: Again, the 5th. But because you’re asking, I sense that Joe worries you a bit.

REP: I would simply say that Mr. Manchin is the closest thing you’ve got to a moderate in today’s political climate.

DEM: You’d like to have him for your own, wouldn’t you?

REP: My candidate is already a proven winner.

DEM: And loser, I might add.

REP: We’re very confident.

DEM: You know Trump is now the oldest candidate.

REP: Unless you nominate Bernie.

DEM: Again, not gonna happen.

REP: Again, fast answer. But no matter whom you choose, I would like to thank you for making things more enjoyable this summer. I had planned to watch re-runs of a British farce on Brit Box during your convention, but your show might be much more entertaining.

DEM: We’ll make America proud again.

REP: Catchy slogan. Always good to borrow from the best.

©MMXXIV. William J. Lewis, III – Freelance Writer