As a public service, and mainly to try to relieve collective political angst that might have built up over the last couple of weeks (including my own), I thought I’d randomly turn to a lighter topic and provide some helpful household tricks that could save time and money . . . something politicians know very little about. I haven’t tried all these myself, but they do come highly recommended on the Internet, which is ALWAYS right, isn’t it?

Here’s an example: Put baking soda in your toilet tank and bowl. It will help to keep your toilet sparkling clean. What a nice treat for family and friends alike who frequent your facilities.

If you’re hanging pictures on the wall, first grab a fork. Perhaps a dinner-sized one is best. Ever tried a hundred times to find the nail with the back of the frame? Here’s an end to your frustration. After you’ve hammered the nail almost all the way in, hook the fork between the nailhead and the wall. Then gently lower your picture frame down the length of the fork. Once it hits the nail, simply remove the fork.

What do you reach for when you put a key in a lock and it won’t turn? You know it’s the right key, but it just won’t work. Well, instead of squirting lubricant into the lock mechanism, rub the lead end of a pencil on the key’s teeth. Presto! The door locks and unlocks easily without a greasy mess.

Got an indentation in your carpet from where a piece of furniture sat? Put an ice cube right on the dent. Wait 15 minutes or so. Then take that same fork from above (useful little tool, huh?) and pick at the smashed fibers until that spot is as smooth as the rest of the carpet.

Suppose you lose something of value and think perhaps it’s hiding in the folds of your furniture. On the end of your vacuum wand, put some hose over the opening (I’m led to believe pantyhose works best for this). Secure the hose with a rubber band, turn on the vacuum, push the attachment into the crevices of your furniture, and when the lost item is found, it will remain trapped by the hose and not sucked into the debris bag.

Let’s say you have a battery-powered clock that has stopped. It requires AA batteries, but, of course, all you have on hand are AAAs. Apparently, if you take a bit of aluminum foil, wad it up, jam it into the spring side of the battery housing, your AAA battery will perform just like a AA.

I’m not sure I buy this next one, but the lady on the Internet claims it works. Take a dull knife. Put it down into a tall glass that is filled with uncooked rice. The knife that the lady used wasn’t in the rice long when it was removed, and then it cut through a zucchini-looking vegetable just like butter.

I know we’re on a roll here, but if you’ll pardon me, I have to get political here for a moment. It’s kind of hard not to when you’re looking for things that make life easier.

If you ever find yourself in a high-ranking power position, you might want to hold off on saying whether or not you would pardon your son for alleged wrong doings before a verdict is rendered. That could come back to haunt you.

And if you someday have to slip a few bucks to an attorney to keep quiet about an escapade or two you may or may not have participated in, don’t really trust that person to be on your side should you and said barrister find yourself in a court of law.

Along the line of tips for not-so-pleasant scenarios, how about this: When prepping for a colonoscopy, i.e., drinking that large container of laxative, the rule of thumb to follow is chill it, flavor it, and drink it through a straw. No, it’s definitely still not pleasant, but why make forcing it down harder than it has to be?

Which brings me to the evening of June 27th. That’s the scheduled night for the first debate between the former and the current President of the United States. I know you’re thinking perhaps the most helpful hint for that evening would be to not even turn on the television. But it’s probably best if you remember your civic duty. Go ahead and tune in the back-and-forth banter. But the hopefully helpful tip is this: Don’t rely on network news talking heads to sway your opinion. Just go you’re your gut when determining who gets your vote.

©MMXXIV. William J. Lewis, III – Freelance Writer