Between the time I write this column and its publication, events may have changed. But while the job’s still vacant, I’m thinking of applying to be Communications Director at the White House. I believe I have just the right qualifications for the job. For one thing, I can write, which is a well-known form of communication. But perhaps more importantly, I’m a freelancer. That means most of my projects only last a short period of time. And since the average time on the job for Donald Trump’s communications directors has been 44 days, that should work out well for my schedule.
Just in cast you missed the latest exit news, Anthony Scaramucci resigned his prestigious post this week, a mere ten days after accepting it. He had been the fourth person to hold the title of communications director since Mr. Trump picked Jason Miller back on December 22nd. Mr. Miller resigned three days later – before the new administration even took over.
Miller was followed by Sean Spicer. (You remember him, don’t you?) Sean added the duties of Comm. Dir. to his job as White House Press Secretary. That lasted just about two months, when Mike Dubke signed on. Mike quit three months later. Spicer took on double duty again until Scaramucci’s hiring – a move that prompted Spicer’s resignation . . . but that’s another story.
The revolving door that is apparently attached to the Communications Director’s office just seems tailor-made for a free agent such as I. No long-term commitments. Access to all the inner-workings of the White House. Tons of intrigue. (Hey, no matter whether you love or loathe the Oval Office occupant, you can’t deny he hasn’t lost his televised propensity to tell people, “You’re fired,” right?)
And speaking of TV, I was with a group of long-time friends last week. One of them postulated the theory that NBC had only itself to blame for a Trump presidency. It’s no secret the network isn’t exactly President Donald’s biggest fan. But it was singing a different tune for all those years he was bringing home big ratings with his reality show. My friend suggested that if Trump had not had a national platform for all those years, he would never have been a household name when it came to presidential politics.
But back to the job opening. As I said, it may already be filled before I even have a chance to apply. But the White House could at least keep my resume on file, since it’s probably a good bet another vacancy will occur sometime soon.
I suppose if I took the job I’d have to learn how to be an expert Tweeter on Twitter. I confess that’s not really my forte at the moment. Although, I do have a background in writing 30-second TV commercials and home pages on websites. Both of those venues allow you only a short time to get a message across. (Many years ago, my first Creative Director at my first advertising agency told me that in a half-minute spot, “You’ve got 62 words . . . make ’em count.”) Granted, the 140-character limit on Twitter probably doesn’t allow you even that many words, but the idea is the same. (And you can definitely use “textspeak” such as LOL and “U” for you, etc.) So I think I could pick up the President’s favorite form of communication quickly.
I figure even if it’s only for 44 days, I’d get to meet some interesting people. That includes the Trump family since they all seem to hang around the White House a lot. I’m guessing Melania’s a nice lady to know.
Vice president Mike Pence seems to be a good guy too. It would be fun to sit in a room with him and find out what he really thinks about John McCain, Chuck Schumer, Mitch McConnell, Nancy Pelosi, Paul Ryan, and the whole cast of characters in Congress.
Having Communications Director on my resume would be kind of cool. Maybe I could parlay that into a talking head gig on one of the networks. I might even get enough juicy material to write a “tell-all” book.
Oh, I almost forgot my most important qualification for the Communications Director job, especially if the Administration continues to have a few staff and policy issues. As part of my peripatetic past, I helped create storylines and write scripts for an honest-to-goodness soap opera – on NBC of all places. Can you think of a more appropriate background for the job than a daytime drama?
©MMXVII. William J. Lewis, III
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