Although I haven’t witnessed every State of the Union message, I can’t imagine any president ever opening his remarks by saying anything short of, “The state of the union is good.” I mean, even if it weren’t, why would he have admitted that he’d been unsuccessful? Within the last century, Herbert Hoover might have had the toughest time saying that line with a straight face. After the Black Friday stock market crash in October 1929, it surely would have been difficult for Hoover in early 1930 to tell the millions of Americans suddenly with no jobs and banks with no money in them that all was right with the country.

Donald Trump was no exception to the rule. He used the adjective “strong,” and enumerated among his accomplishments in his first two years in office historically low unemployment, a huge tax cut, U.S.-Mexico-Canada Trade Deal, moving the U.S. Embassy to Jerusalem, smashing ISIS, record American oil production, and a few others.

As was widely predicted, Democrats sat on their hands for much of the evening while Republicans in the Chamber did stand up/sit down calisthenics during the hour-and-twenty-minute-long speech. Rs had smiles plastered on their faces while many of the Ds must have kept lemon wedges soaked in vinegar in their mouths. Surely both groups had to practice the appropriate facial expressions. It’s difficult enough to grin continuously for long stretches. But it’s probably harder to maintain a look of complete disgust and disdain for more than a few minutes at a time. I’m thinking some serious conditioning workouts and mirror time went into both performances.

Preparations were no doubt fast and furious at the White House as well, with Mr. Trump practicing the speech several times over the past week or so. Facts and figures and where to emphasize what and when were undoubtedly added and subtracted until the show itself. (I’m just guessing, but you have to wonder if the staff didn’t insert the warning, “Do Not Ad-Lib” several times in BOLD print on the teleprompter throughout the speech. The Donald can sometimes get into a wee bit of trouble when he goes off script.)

It was a foregone conclusion that no matter what the President said, half the combined House and Senate members present weren’t going to give him any plaudits. That was probably decided upon by the powers-that-be and disseminated as a “Here’s how to respond” document.

Democrats may have drawn up a list of when it’s okay to clap and when it’s strictly verboten. Maybe there were directions emailed to every partisan office with instructions, such as:

  • Any mention of military heroes or first-responders is acceptable.
  • If the President starts using four letter words such as “wall,” it’s perfectly permissible to look thoroughly appalled and to murmur under your breath.
  • Speaker Pelosi should receive the loudest and longest applause when her name is mentioned.
  • Don’t wear the “Me Too” hat in the Chamber. (Hijabs are fine.)
  • Refrain from pretending to stick your finger down your throat and gagging more than once (per person). Please negotiate with the representative sitting next to you to ensure two people don’t do it simultaneously so close together.
  • Clear an aisle in the Chamber quickly. We don’t want to have the Trumpster in our midst for very long.

Of course, the Republicans undoubtedly had a few directives of their own:

  • Laugh at his jokes. Tear up if appropriate.
  • Wave to Melania.
  • Only use one hand to applaud when Nutty Nancy is mentioned.
  • Remove MAGA hats when entering, but keep them visible on your lap.
  • Practice nodding vigorously so it looks natural when accomplishments are mentioned.
  • If you’re on the aisle, shake hands effusively with the President and say things such as, “Knocked it out of the park,” and “You da man.”

Regarding other preparations, it’s impossible to think that Stacey Abrams, designated official responder for the Democrats, hadn’t been given a whole host of “say this, don’t say that” suggestions. Her job was to discount everything Trump said. And she only had ten minutes. It wouldn’t have come as a surprise if the first words out of her mouth had been, “Donald Trump is mean, wicked, bad, and nasty. Need I go on?”

Or, to placate the party base, perhaps Abrams could have just sung a chorus of “Liar, Liar, Pants on Fire.”

To her credit, she didn’t. And to the President’s credit, he did talk a lot about unity. Let’s hope both sides took the message to heart.

 

©MMXIX. William J. Lewis, III – Freelance Writer