One of the things I’ve always liked about reading newspapers (and now, of course, also trolling the Internet) is that in addition to the major headlines, there are always tidbits of interesting stories found on the inner pages. Sometimes it’s just a blurb about an unusual event or people doing out-of-the-ordinary things. But there are often more in-depth articles dealing with happenings that may not merit the front page but are definitely conversation-starters.

This past week has been no exception. So, I thought I’d share a few of the noteworthy narratives I stumbled upon while doing my daily reading.

For example, it seems researchers in the United Kingdom took a closer look at a 2,000-year-old marble tablet that’s been sitting in a Scottish museum for over a hundred years. Those who study such things seem to think the Greek inscription on the tablet might well be akin to something such as a yearbook of a graduating class. According to the report, “It lists the names of young men within a cohort who finished their year-long civic and military training . . .  .”

I’m wondering if that tablet also included sentiments similar to what you might find in today’s high school yearbooks. Such as, “You’ll go far, Theogas,” and, “Don’t ever forget that party at Dionysis’ house,” or the one from the band member who wrote, “Don’t B-flat, don’t B-sharp, just B-natural.” Perhaps the most popular one would have been, “Looking forward to conquering some cities with you.”

Speaking of battles, did you see that Sarah Palin is the leading vote-getter in the special Primary Election being held in Alaska for the U.S. House seat? Alaskans only have one Congressperson, and the longtime holder of that seat, Don Young, unfortunately died earlier this year. You remember Sarah, right? She’s the rather outspoken former vice-presidential candidate who had a way of stirring up continual controversy. Well, she’s baaaaack. Or, at least, wants to be back. And she just may get her chance to head to Washington, D.C. soon. I’m thinking we could all be in for a treat when Ms. Palin and Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez square off against one another. (I’m just guessing here, but they may have slightly differing opinions on several matters of national interest.) The Hockey Mom vs. the Bronx Battler. Could be interesting.

Elsewhere in the world, did you hear the news that, due to the Ukraine invasion, McDonald’s pulled its name off the more than 800 restaurants it owned in Russia? All were sold to Russian businessman Alexander Govor, who promptly renamed them “Vkusno i Tochka” which apparently translates into “Tasty and that’s it!” Talk about a phrase that just cries out for an advertising jingle.

Gone are the Big Mac and the McFlurry throughout the Russian countryside. I’m not sure about replacement items for those, but surely there would be tasty substitutions such as “Kremlin Krinkly Fries,” the “Putin Quarter Pounder,” “Moscow Milkshakes,” and “Russkie Nuggets.” The new owners have vowed the quality and taste will remain the same. My question is, do they have to start over counting the number of burgers sold?

Under the heading “Are you kidding me?” comes this new item: It seems a man disguised as an elderly lady, sitting in a wheelchair and having been granted closer accessibility than normal, tossed a piece of cake at the Mona Lisa painting at the Louvre in Paris. No harm befell da Vinci’s smiling friend mainly because she’s encased in glass. It’s a shame everyone who has injury in mind against someone or something doesn’t use cake as a weapon rather than a more damaging item.

Speaking of food, did you hear about the Floridian who had an up close and personal experience in his home state with an alligator? The story goes that a guy was walking near a pond in a public park. He spotted an 8- to 10-foot gator in the water. So, he pulled out his camera and started taking pictures. The alligator, evidently, had his eye on this guy because when the photographer glanced away to check the zoom lens on his camera, the gator swiftly came ashore and started running right toward him. Thankfully, the poor guy he lived to tell the tale, but c’mon. You can almost understand how this would happen if the man involved wasn’t actually FROM the place where alligators often make personal appearances such as this. What was he thinking? The Darwin Awards may come calling.

There’s much more to report on other news. But that’s all I have space for right now. Shoot, some of those items may even make you want to go back to the REAL headlines of the day.

©MMXXII. William J. Lewis, III – Freelance Writer