In case you missed all the sports hoopla over this past weekend, the 2023 college football season got underway. Perhaps your favorite team began this year’s campaign on a high note. Perhaps not. Regardless of the outcomes, it’s just Week One with many more to come. The last remaining survivor of the gridiron battles will get to hold aloft the National Championship trophy in January.

As no doubt even a casual fan of the sport is aware, most colleges and universities have each aligned themselves with a particular conference. For decades, these associations were generally regional in nature. The Southeastern Conference (SEC) included teams from, well, the southeastern part of the country. The Atlantic Coast Conference (ACC) was made up of teams whose states touched the Atlantic Ocean. The Big Ten originally concentrated on the Midwest states. And the Pacific Coast 12 (PAC-12)? You guessed it. Teams from the left coast. Every alignment made good sense.

Not anymore!

The times they are a-changin’. And, apparently, so is the concept of geographical boundaries. I’m pretty sure most institutions of higher learning have courses devoted to geography, but if what’s happening to college football conferences is any indication, the classroom syllabi may need some remedial updating.

The SEC will soon include teams reaching from Georgia to Oklahoma and points in between. The ACC will include such Pacific Ocean teams as Stanford and The University of California. (Southern Methodist University in Dallas is also joining, which is a stretch, but almost acceptable from a Gulf/Ocean point of view.) The Big Ten is soon to be the Big 18 and will extend from sea to shining sea. And the poor PAC-12? The mass exodus from that Conference may render it the PAC-2.

What’s behind all this rearranging of the football world? Academics? No, but that concept is worth a chuckle. Competition? Again, no, but you’re getting closer. Money? Ah, there we have it. Although it’s doubtful any university president or head football coach would stoop to admitting big bucks are responsible for altering the alignments, the almighty dollar is certainly playing a key role in the action.

That’s nothing new, of course. The powerhouse programs garner the biggest TV audiences, and the networks are willing to pay whatever it takes to ensure We the Fans are fed a steady diet of commercials for beer, soft drink, insurance, food, and home improvement tools from morning to night every Saturday. Realigning the conferences is just the next natural step in what may end up being one or two or three major bigger-and-better-than-ever conferences down the line.

For example, one such conference may include long-standing winning schools such as Alabama, Georgia, Ohio State, LSU, Clemson, the University of Southern California, and Texas. (Although, after Week One, LSU and Clemson are a bit iffy.) It could conceivably be called the “We Win, You Lose” Conference. One or more of those teams will probably still be playing in January ever year.

For now, though, this seems as good a time as any to come up with some names that truly reflect the new alignments of today.

Case in point: The Big Ten, with its newly added teams, should perhaps be renamed “Big As An 18-Wheeler.” The SEC could rebrand as “Southeast, Yeah, But Some Midwest Too.” The ACC could become the “Hey, It’s Near An Ocean, Isn’t It?” Conference. And the PAC-2 might look into calling itself “Does Anybody Want to Join Us? It’s Cheap.” I just think a little truth in advertising is wanted here.

It used to be that teams within a conference played most, if not all, the other aligned teams at some point over a two-year stretch. With the additions already in place and more to come, there could be a decade or so between matchups with some fellow conference opponents. I wonder how a conference champion can call itself a conference champion if it’s only played five or six of the other dozen teams in its alliance?

It’s entirely possible the new wave of collegial competition may end up being a colossal failure. Traditional rivalries may have to be forsaken for want of a balanced schedule and fairness to all concerned. Georgia and Alabama already no longer meet every year (or even every other year). Will Stanford vs. SMU become a “Must See” game? And will Ohio State vs. Michigan devolve into Rutgers vs. Washington?

Oh, heaven forfend!

The only upside to these conference expansions is that perhaps there’s hope yet that my small Division Three school (DePauw University, where a Chemistry Lab is accepted as an excused absence from football practice) might someday play a game with the Georgia Bulldogs in Greencastle, Indiana. We may not win, but I’ll wager we’d pack our 4,000-seat stadium.

Go Tigers!

©MMXXIII. William J. Lewis, III  – Freelance Writer