Not even the striking Hollywood writers could have scripted the barbs and taunts thrown around the debate stage at the Republican National Committee melee in Milwaukee this week. Eight candidates were present, continually fighting for a moment of airspace. One notable contender was otherwise occupied, although his name did come up once or twice during the evening.

About half of the eight were basically introducing themselves to the American public. Burgum, Hutchinson, Scott, and Ramaswamy were pretty much saying “Howdy” to the viewing audience. DeSantis, Haley, Christie, and Pence have been in the limelight before.

All managed to get their main talking points across, usually at the expense of not answering the questions that were asked of them by the moderators from Fox News. Bret Baier and Martha McCallum had the unenviable task of trying to quiet the constant cacophony in front of them and keep some semblance of decorum.

On a couple of issues, all the candidates agreed. First and foremost, Joe Biden has got to go. Shrinking the size of the federal government was very popular. As was securing the southern border. Fireworks erupted over how much or how little to support Ukraine. Perhaps the most entertaining period of time was devoted to what was termed “the elephant NOT in the room,” i.e., Donald Trump.

The former president, who maintains a double-digit lead in the polls, was otherwise occupied and chose not to attend the forum in person. But his presence was definitely felt. He and Mr. Ramaswamy were the targets of the most barbs. Ramaswamy fielded his with a smile, and Trump supporters in the audience reigned down BOOs when they felt The Donald had been dissed.

All in all, the entire two hours could probably be summarized as: it was just what was expected. It’s hard to have a true “debate” with eight participants. Especially when there is a plethora of questions asked. In the aftermath, predictably, every candidate and his/her minions claimed victory.

As it turns out, the Republicans weren’t the only draw on TV that night. In Atlanta, the Braves front office had wisely counter-programmed the Milwaukee-meet-and-greet with an encore performance featuring four former players in the team’s television booth. Regular play-by-play announcer Brandon Gaudin had Wednesday night off while Chipper Jones, Tom Glavine, John Smoltz, and Jeff Francoeur sat behind the microphones and called the game against the Mets the way they saw it.

As with the first edition of the foursome back in June, this one was extremely entertaining. There was a replay of Chipper’s first game in the major leagues when he barreled into star pitcher Greg Maddux and knocked him down. And viewers heard all the guys laugh at John Smoltz’s misfortune of getting hit by a pitch and flopping down at the plate.

Former Braves’ catcher Brian McCann joined the guys for a couple of innings and showed a picture of himself as a 9-year-old meeting Smoltz. Apparently, that picture was hung in Smoltz’s locker the first day McCann played with the team.

Tom Glavine, it seems, likes to make home run calls (as in, “Going, going, GONE!”) and finally got to do just that when Marcell Ozuna hit one for the Braves late in the game. And all the guys like to talk about their golf games. (Chipper, by consensus, ranks last of the four in terms of course ability.) Between stories, they managed to keep the audience tuned into what was happening on the field as well. With two pitchers and two hitters in the booth, fans were treated to perspectives from every angle. All in all, the group provided a very enjoyable way to watch and listen to a baseball game.

That’s not to say the proceedings in Milwaukee weren’t entertaining in their own right as well. The ballplayers kept trying to top each other with one story after another, and so did the Republican candidates for President.

In Atlanta, the Braves won the baseball game, but the guys in the TV booth once again won the hearts of the fans. I really don’t know who won the political game. As mentioned, all the candidates claimed some sort of victory. And perhaps they should this early in the primary season. They all had to meet certain criteria to be invited to participate and none of them stepped on his/her tongue.

Maybe at the next debate it would be fun to combine these two forms of entertainment. The politicians could answer the moderators’ questions, and then Chipper, Glav, Smoltzie, and Frenchy could comment on the performance of the candidates. It might not be an in-depth analysis, but it could be really fun.

©MMXXIII. William J. Lewis, III – Freelance Writer