With every passing summer day in the good ol’ U.S. of A. seemingly comes news that somewhere along the fruited plains there are either monsoons or Sahara-desert heat waves occurring. If it’s not record-setting stretches of triple-digit temperatures in the Southwest, it’s twice the average annual rainfall in a day throughout New England. Plus various and sundry other weather-related occurrences across our country.

Those meteorological events don’t make for happy humans. But one creature that does seem to thrive on pretty much any climate condition is that well-known and much-reviled flying pest – the lowly mosquito. It doesn’t matter where you live or go on vacation, you can probably count on having to slap yourself on the neck at least a few times (dozens, hundreds, thousands?) during the prime outdoor months.

Florida wins the prize for the most mosquitos. Lots of muggy conditions, standing water, a swamp or two, and tons of tourists with exposed skin are all very attractive to the pest. Louisiana and its bayous aren’t far behind. Georgia’s hot and humid summer makes for perfect conditions, as do summers in Alabama and North Carolina. Virginia too. And even Montana and South Dakota are known for attracting more than their fair share of the bugs. Some Minnesotans have joked that the state could amend its “Land of 10,000 Lakes” slogan to include, “And 10 Billion Mosquitos.”

Extensive research has found that there are over 200 types of mosquitos in our fair land. About a dozen of these types are apparently the ones that can spread germs that make people sick. The others are generally grouped together as aptly-named nuisance mosquitos.  The Centers for Disease Control (you remember them from Covid, right?) says there are about 2,000 or so cases of malaria reported each year in the U.S., but it seems most of those cases come from returning international travelers. There are viruses such as West Nile, Dengue, Zika, and something called chikungunya, but those aren’t very common.

I read that it’s the female mosquitos doing the biting, getting nutrients from our blood to help make their eggs. It seems a single blood meal can help produce about a hundred eggs that hatch into larvae. The male mosquito, on the other hand, tends to sit around and watch sports, drink nectar, and wait until it’s time to breed. But he only lives for about a week, so he has to pack a lot of living into that short lifespan. The female can live for several weeks or longer.

Even though a mosquito is a major irritant, it deserves credit for being a hearty breed. This irksome biter has apparently been around for about 170 million years. So, mankind has been swatting at them forever. Evidently Native Americans had a couple of ways to deal with the problem. Fires helped tremendously in warding off the pests. As every camper knows, the smoke from burning wood helps negate all manner of bugs and creepy crawly things. In addition, here’s one report of another useful approach: “Taking advantage of a mosquito’s sense of smell was a standard tactic used by Native Americans. Besides using mud, they would also rub rancid animal fat on their bodies to create a physical barrier and create such a stink that the mosquitos would stay away.”

While those measures may have been effective, I don’t recall seeing any modern-day products featuring rancid fat as a leading ingredient. It just doesn’t seem like something you’d care to rub on your skin when going for a romantic stroll by the lake at dusk in mid-July.

So, what can you use to repel those pesky pests? Let’s start with what doesn’t work. According to a couple of reports I saw, you might want to save your money and not buy bracelets or mosquito-repellent wristbands and other things to wear. They aren’t going to protect your whole body. Also avoid ultrasonic repellent devices. Some studies found these devices actually tended to attract mosquitos. Garlic? Vitamin B? Dietary supplements? Nope, nope, nope.

Instead, go with 10-20% DEET products. The Army developed it in the 1950s and it’s still going strong. Picaridin is a synthetic alternative to DEET. Oil of lemon eucalyptus (OLE) and Clove oil also have been shown to be effective. Those ingredients (or a combination thereof) in a retail product may well help you avoid itching and scratching, at least for a little while.

Or you could do what I do. I simply make sure I’m with my wife, brother-in-law, mom, or daughter-in-law whenever I go outside in the summertime. All are great lures for mosquitos and can be eaten up within three minutes while I don’t get a single bite. But you’ll have to find your own human mosquito magnet. Hey, sorry. Life’s not fair. Deal with it.

© MMXXIII. William J. Lewis, III – Freelance Writer