Where, oh where is Hollywood when you need it? As potential scandals abound for past and present denizens of the cesspool known as Washington, D.C., it seems as if this might be a good time for a really juicy showbiz brouhaha to hit the front pages and set social media ablaze. If for no other reason, wouldn’t it be a little less painful for the U.S. citizenry as a whole to see less of Trump’s and Biden’s names associated with the letters FBI? Not that I wish anybody else ill will, mind you, but certainly a former president and even our current one are garnering more than their fair share of legal media attention.

Serious allegations have been leveled against #45, and those accusations definitely shouldn’t be taken lightly. Nor probably should the accusations surrounding #46’s family business dealings. Any impropriety at the highest levels of our government needs to be fully investigated and litigated if necessary.

Of course, given the great political divide currently in vogue in our fair land, half the country has already convicted Trump on espionage charges while the other half is convinced Biden has been running an illegal international influence-peddling operation for years. Forget due process of law. Depending on your political persuasion, one or the other just has to be guilty, right?

It occurs to me that both sides of the political spectrum might want to be careful what they wish for. Let’s say that Donald Trump has his day in court and it doesn’t turn out the way he’d like. A conviction might land him in the pokey and, one would think, pretty much totally derail his 2024 re-election bid.

While that may elicit great rejoicing from many Democrats, it would also mean someone else would most likely become the Republican standard-bearer for the upcoming presidential race. And whoever that candidate is probably wouldn’t have the built-in associated negative bias preceived by those who would rather see virtually anybody else in the Free World besides Donald Trump be President of the U.S. It’s no secret that part of Joe Biden’s votes in 2020 came from “No-Trump-No-Way” supporters. Many of those folks might possibly find themselves drifting toward another candidate with less baggage than The Donald.

And what if Hunter Biden’s laptop business secrets should reveal that President Biden was indeed the unidentified “Big Guy”? Suppose there was a ton of money funneled into Joe’s coffers that was directly linked to the President (or Vice President at the time), using his office to line his pockets. If that were to be true, it’s just possible that an impeachment and conviction (or resignation) would remove the current occupant of the White House from his Oval Office.

Republicans might initially cry “Hurrah!” at such a scenario. Until the realization sets in that if Joe Biden steps down, Kamala Harris steps up. (Was that a collective shudder from the GOP?) She’s next in line for the Presidency, you know. You can’t just skip over the Vice President to get to Speaker of the House, Republican Kevin McCarthy, who is behind Harris on the succession ladder.

(After the Speaker, if you remember your Civics from high school, the line of succession lands in the lap of the President Pro Tempore of the Senate. While that is a constitutionally-recognized office, it’s traditionally held by the senator from the majority party with the longest record of continuous service. Technically, that would be Dianne Feinstein from California. But she has, well, just a few issues of her own at the moment. So, the post is currently occupied by Patty Murray of Washington state.)

Fortunately, We the People have never had to go further into the succession field than the Vice President. Unfortunately, events have made presidential replacement necessary nine times in our history (eight by the death of the incumbent President, and one via resignation).

No matter how all the current scandals, or would-be scandals, play out, it’s going to be an interesting summer. But there’s still a little pizzazz missing. Sure, Stormy Daniels is in the picture, as is Hunter Biden’s daughter by an exotic dancer, but that’s relatively tame in some people’s eyes. And honestly? It takes a lot of brain power to try to figure out just what Trump’s possible classified documents all mean and how money might have flowed to Biden. I’m not sure we all want to work that hard when school’s out. Which is where Tinseltown comes in as a distraction. Surely there’s a Kardashian involved in something infamous right now, isn’t there? Maybe Harry and Meghan can come up with another fun royal ruckus. And what’s Paris Hilton up to, besides making commercials with her dog? Heck, anything to lighten the country’s mood would be welcome.

©MMXXIII. William J. Lewis, III – Freelance Writer