Since the election brouhaha is all over (except for the shouting and gnashing of teeth, depending on your outlook), I thought it prudent for us to listen in on a post-mortem tete-a-tete with our friendly, well-paid, and opinionated political consultants. That requires another trip to a darkened Georgetown bistro where we find the twosome – one joyful and one morose.

DEMOCRAT: You know you’re buying today, right?

REPUBLICAN: With pleasure! I understand you’re still trying to raise $20 million to pay off debts even after your billion-dollar spending spree just to finish second.

DEM: Something like that.

REP: I hope YOU got paid before the money ran out.

DEM: Of course. Up front as usual. Same as you. Not my first rodeo.

REP: Is that a new suit?

DEM: Ha! Yeah, I bought it for the inauguration.

REP: Well, why don’t you come as my guest.

DEM: Thanks, but no thanks.

REP: Gonna miss a great party.

DEM: Uh-huh. You just can’t stop smiling, can you?

REP: Can you blame me?

DEM: For foisting Donald Trump once again on the American people? Yes, I can blame you.

REP: Need I remind you that over 76 million of those American people voted for The Donald?

DEM: You don’t. But I think it would behoove you to remember that 72 million Americans DIDN’T vote for him.

REP: Sure. So, how’s the President taking the outcome?

DEM: Surprisingly well.

REP: And the First Lady?

DEM: She may have a few more issues with the results.

REP: No kidding. She definitely gave the cold shoulder to Kamala on Veteran’s Day. Is Jill still running the country, by the way?

DEM: Mrs. Biden is a strong supporter of her husband.

REP: And how’s the dementia?

DEM: I was just going to ask you the same question about your guy.

REP: Yeah, I’ve noticed the ex- and future-president’s mental acuity has become talking point number one by your attack dogs in the media.

DEM: It’s something we feel warrants investigation.

REP: So, it didn’t matter if Biden wasn’t playing with a full deck, but now it suddenly does when it’s Trump?

DEM: We’re just looking at the facts.

REP: Such as?

DEM: Well, his ranting and raving for one. Do you even know what he’s going to say next? And his Cabinet nominees. I mean, c’mon! Elon Musk? I know he paid for the election, but seriously?

REP: You have your billionaires, we have ours. And I’m thinking Musk scares you because quite a few of your sycophant bureaucrat friends in Washington just might have to actually work for a living after their departments are shut down.

DEM: Are you saying government employees are all lazy and shiftless?

REP: Not at all. But every business goes through a re-organization every few years. It just hasn’t been done with the federal government in a couple of centuries.

DEM: So, what are you going to do next?

REP: You mean after I watch the heads of the ladies on The VIEW and late-night TV hosts explode?

DEM: Those people are passionate about their beliefs.

REP: And rather vocal. But what about you? What’s next on your agenda?

DEM: Already looking at taking back the Senate in 2026, and vetting possible White House candidates for 2028.

REP: Why, I was under the impression from your rhetoric that the country as we know it wouldn’t be around in four years.

DEM: A distinct possibility. But we’ll be ready just in case Trump can be kept in check.

REP: Surely you’re not thinking of inflicting Kamala on the American electorate again. Or is she already working on her new word salad?

DEM: The Democratic party has a deep bench of qualified possibilities. We wouldn’t want to tie ourselves down just yet.

REP: I’ll take that as a No.

DEM: You’ll have to come up with somebody new too, unless Tsar Donald is successful in overturning the Constitution.

REP: We’ve got so many good candidates it’s hard to know where to start.

DEM: How about with your Vice President, J.D. Vance? How much experience in Washington has he had? Eighteen months or so?

REP: About the same amount as a guy named Barack Obama, if I recall. You remember him, don’t you?

DEM: Not the same.

REP: You’re right. By 2028, Vance will have tons more D.C. experience than Obama did.

DEM: You’ve got an answer for everything, don’t you?

REP: Hey, I’m allowed to have all the answers right now. At least for a little while. We won you know.

DEM: So you’ve said. Several times.

REP: Look at it this way. Your consulting business is going to boom. Imagine all those wanna-be presidents in your party just begging for your expertise.

DEM: Well, I guess there IS that.

REP: Shoot, you’ll be making so much money you’ll actually LIKE the Trump tax proposals.

DEM: Perish the thought.

REP: I understand completely. And yes, lunch is on me.

©MMXXIV. William J. Lewis, III – Freelance Writer