As a public service, I’m going to devote this entire space to items that have absolutely NOTHING whatsoever, even remotely, to do with politicians, elections, or who is or will be in power in the coming months. You can thank me later. Instead, I’ve been sparing no expense in scouring news sources for some topics that hopefully won’t be controversial in any way.

For starters, there comes a report from the United Kingdom that a company over there has created what they’re referring to as a bee retirement home. As you might be aware, the bee population is decreasing worldwide, and we all need those little flying pollinators to help with our food source supply.

Well, someone thinks these hard-working bees should be afforded some rest and relaxation. So, the facilities they’ve built come complete with recreational areas that are “surrounded with pollen-filled flowers, a sugar water fountain, and even mini-armchairs.” There were no pictures accompanying the report, but I wonder if the armchairs are accessorized with a TV remote and the latest edition of BEE CULTURE magazine.

As the bees rest and recuperate comes news of some possible help for people who have trouble sleeping. It seems there is some evidence that a lesser-known component of the cannabis plant (of marijuana fame) may deliver a longer sleep with better quality. The report I saw indicated that the use of cannabinol doesn’t have many of the side effects associated with other sleep medications. Hopefully its usage won’t make people have to get up in the middle of the night to eat a whole bag of potato chips.

Speaking of side effects, apparently one recent father of the bride kind of zoned out during his daughter’s wedding ceremony and created a never-to-be-forgotten moment of levity. Dad and daughter were at the back of the church waiting to take their walk down the aisle. But as the music started, good ol’ Dad started out on his own, strolling and smiling solo while his daughter stood in the back, wondering and watching. The miscommunication was rectified when Dad was stopped about halfway through his journey by the wedding staff and was told he forgot something. He quickly doubled back, gathered his wits and the bride, and proceeded as if nothing had happened. Of course, it was all caught on camera to be replayed over and over again for years to come.

Here’s an inspiring tale for anyone thinking the terms couch potato and elderly are synonymous. At the recent Athens Greece Marathon, an 88-year-old man named Ploutarchos Pourliakas crossed the finish line in 6 hours and 31 minutes (18 minutes faster than last year). The story said he didn’t begin running until age 73, having been inspired by his son, who is an ultramarathon runner. Not that everyone can just decide to lace up the running shoes and hit the pavement, but perhaps it does make you think that you might be able to improve on all that grunting and groaning that happens in just the space between the recliner and the refrigerator, doesn’t it?

While on the subject of long-distance accomplishments, did you hear about the emperor penguin that made its way to Australia after what may well have been a 2,200-mile journey from its native Antarctica? The folks who found the wayward, tuxedo-clad swimmer said the adult male was malnourished (he weighed about half what he normally would), but otherwise was apparently okay. I wonder what his fellow penguins back home thought. “Has anybody seen Pete?” “Yeah, he said he was going for a short swim.” “Oh, okay. Hope he doesn’t get lost again.”

If you’re looking for the perfect Christmas gift for the movie buff in your family or circle of friends, look no further. A pair of ruby slippers worn by Judy Garland in The Wizard of Oz is being auctioned. The reason they’re available at all is that some ne’er-do-well stole them from a Michigan museum where they were on loan almost 20 years ago. The FBI found them in 2018, but it’s taken a while for the auction to occur. (The guy who pilfered the shoes mistakenly thought they were bedecked with real jewels.) Should you decide to pursue the slippers as a gift, plan on setting aside at least six figures. You’ll be bidding against the museum for starters.

And, finally, before we return to the “regular” news of the day, here are two Dad jokes to send you on your way:

What’s the best way to get to the hospital after breaking your foot? (With a toe truck.)

And . . .

Why do sweaters tend to hang out together? (They’re pretty close-knit.)

Are you at least smiling?

©MMXXIV. William J. Lewis, III – Freelance Writer