Now that the fun of a run-off election in Georgia has ended this political season’s battle for the U.S. Senate, the powers-that-be can settle back for a short month or so during the holidays. They’ll be taking a little time to relax and relive victories or to ponder defeats before ginning up the money machines for the next cycle of campaign merry-go-round.
With that in mind, it seems like a good time to drop in on our electoral partisan savants as they frequent their usual luncheon table in the back of a dimly lit bistro in the heart of Georgetown’s Embassy Row. Per norm, both sit with their backs to the walls so as to keep their eyes on the rest of the restaurant patrons.
DEMOCRATIC OPERATIVE: See. I told you we’d keep the Senate.
REPUBLICAN OPERATIVE: And I said we’d take the House.
DEM: So, a toast to both of us.
REP: And a fervent hope no one dies or resigns. I don’t think I’ve got another election in me so soon.
DEM: I’ll second that. I’m thinking of the islands for Christmas. How ’bout you?
REP: Bought a new boat. Florida Keys for me.
DEM: Sounds good. Got a name for it?
REP: Yeah. “House Rules.”
REP: Kinda glad this year’s behind us. Well, almost. “Plugs” Biden, as the late, great Rush Limbaugh used to call your exalted leader, still has a few more days in 2022 to insert his foot in his mouth.
DEM: We’re very proud of how the electorate rallied around our President.
REP: Nobody rallied around him. Not many of your candidates wanted to be seen within 100 miles of him.
DEM: Unlike your orange-haired friend?
REP: We all have our crosses to bear. Speaking of your guy, I saw he just made a trip to Arizona but didn’t bother to visit the border.
DEM: That’s Kamala’s job.
REP: What’s she doing? Providing life jackets to anyone wanting to cross the Rio Grande?
DEM: She’s working on comprehensive immigration reform.
REP: Did you just quote the White House Press Secretary?
DEM: I mighta. So, are we going to have a rematch in 2024?
REP: Between the Old Dude and the Real Winner of 2020?
DEM: I don’t think I’d go there if I were you.
REP: Yeah, well, it works in some places.
DEM: Not here.
REP: Hey, I noticed you didn’t throw a huge 80th birthday party for Mr. Big in November. Must have slipped your mind.
DEM: Something like that. Let’s talk about your side. The Trumpster didn’t exactly overwhelm the electorate with his choices.
REP: Maybe. We still sent Pelosi packing. Good riddance.
DEM: Are you sure?
REP: At least for two years she won’t be sitting on the dais behind the President, ripping up any speeches.
DEM: Ha. I still chuckle at that one. But what do you know about the new House leader for us, Jeffries? Might be a case of “better the devil you know than the one you don’t,” eh?
REP: We’ll take our chances. Don’t forget. You’re not in charge there anymore.
DEM: For the moment.
REP: Say, I saw that Mr. Labor Union himself got into a little trouble with the railroad boys. Telling them they couldn’t strike might come back to bite you in two years.
DEM: Hey, they got a 24% raise and a bonus. That ain’t bad. And it beats the heck out of the backlash if there’d been no toys under the Christmas tree.
REP: So, a calculated risk, I guess.
DEM: Kind of like running Herschel Walker for the Senate. What could go wrong there?
REP: That might have been a slight miscalculation.
DEM: Wouldn’t it be kind of fun to just start over again in 2024? At least for the top spot on the tickets? I think if you’d get rid of The Donald and we could persuade Joe that the pasture is calling, it really could be a whole lot of fun.
REP: What’re you thinking? Is Bernie running again? Would Kamala leave the border to campaign? How about the recall survivor in California? Beto’s available once again. Elizabeth’s still a minority, isn’t she? Buttigieg’s leave of absence is over, right?
DEM: Yeah. And Ted Cruz is back from Cancun. Do you really want me to go tit-for-tat on this one?
REP: Nah. Just having fun.
DEM: Well, that’s the name of the game, isn’t it? We have fun and everybody else pays. Keeps us fat and happy.
REP: I’ll drink to that.
©MMXXII. William J. Lewis, III – Freelance Writer