Occupying a dark booth in a trendy Georgetown bistro, our high-powered Republican and Democratic political operatives are, once again, about to share an exorbitant expense account meal. As the scene opens, the Democratic bigwig is smiling broadly as his Republican counterpart approaches.

REP: Oh, geez. Look at that Cheshire cat grin. You must be feeling particularly ebullient today.

DEM: Yes, indeed. And lunch is on me. I must admit this has been an exceptionally exhilarating week.

REP: No doubt something to do with a recent raid in southern Florida?

DEM: That does play heavily into my exceptionally good mood.

REP: Is there nothing you and your hand-picked lackeys won’t do to stop Donald Trump from running roughshod over you in 2024?

DEM: Oh, the FBI visit to Mar-a-Lago was completely out of our control. That’s a Justice Department issue, and we always just let the chips fall where they may when that branch of government is concerned.

REP: I see. Notwithstanding the fact that Hillary Clinton is still walking around a free woman, right?

DEM: She wasn’t President of the United States.

REP: Thank the Good Lord for small miracles.

DEM: The Justice Department felt there were more than a few classified items of interest that apparently went missing when the Trumpster left the White House after urging his supporters to siege the Capitol.

REP: I suggest we not go there at the moment.

DEM: Certainly. I’m sure there are plenty of other things yet to be unveiled. And, actually, The Donald’s confiscated files are only part of why I’m willing to be the big spender today.

REP: Don’t tell me you’re going to gloat over that horribly misnamed Inflation Reduction Act.

DEM: I certainly am.

REP: (Dripping sarcasm) That was quite a bi-partisan effort for sure. I’m surprised Kamala could fly back from managing the border crisis long enough to break the tie.

DEM: The President tried to get everyone on board. He asked that politics be put aside.

REP: And not one senator heeded his call. Least of all Bernie Sanders. Speaking of whom, is Bern still talking to anyone on your side?

DEM: Senator Sanders remains an esteemed member of our caucus.

REP: I don’t know how. Your guys shot down his amendments faster than Nancy Pelosi can come up with an excuse for taking her son to Taiwan with her. What were the votes on those suggestions, 99-1 every time?

DEM: No, they weren’t.

REP: Oh, yeah, I saw that both Georgia Senators took one for the team and voted with Bernie once. I heard he was making some of your members quite frustrated in the cloakroom. Did somebody really say, “C’mon, Bernie. Cut it out, dude. I got people to answer to”?

DEM: You guys weren’t immune from offering amendments that were a bit far-fetched.

REP: And they got about as far as Bernie’s attempts to totally bankrupt the country.

DEM: Well, I’m sure the House will take care of things now.

REP: Funny you should mention the House. How’s that hole coming along that Fancy Nancy was digging to China? Is she still on the beach with shovel in hand?

DEM: The Speaker of the House had a very successful trip to every country she visited on her recent trip.

REP: Uh-huh. And little Paul Jr. got to tag along for fun. Hey, was Hunter Biden on the plane too? Now there’s a guy with connections in China.

DEM: I understand your bitterness. We got a couple of big wins this week and you’re afraid we’re in the driver’s seat again.

REP: Yeah, about that. You guys just dumped another $400 billion in spending on the backs of taxpayers. Not to mention siccing 87,000 new IRS agents on them. People won’t forget that.

DEM: Once again, my friend, you have it all wrong. Those agents will only be going after scofflaws who don’t pay their fair share, like some of the very wealthy, and many corporations.

REP: Here’s what I have to say about that: Malarky. You ever heard that word before?

DEM: It’s music to my ears when you quote our esteemed President.

REP: China’s really mad at us, we just went further into debt, and everybody now has to worry about being audited. And you call that a great week?

DEM: In this game, as you well know, a win’s a win. You’re just jealous because you didn’t think of your own tricks.

REP: Yeah, well, I plead the Fifth. But fair warning, you’re going to have an ex-president someday soon.

DEM: Try the fish. I hear it’s good.

REP: This isn’t over.

DEM: Let’s hope not. We’d have to buy our own lunches if that were the case.

REP: Touché.

©MMXXII. William J. Lewis, III – Freelance Writer