It’s time once again to eavesdrop on a couple of head honchos from the Republican and Democratic parties, enjoying yet another expense account lunch in a dark corner of a trendy Washington, D.C., restaurant. With the Ds currently in total power, the Rs are taking the potshots this time. As we tune in, pleasantries have been exchanged, phones turned off, and drinks ordered, which haven’t yet arrived.

DEM: The service in here is ridiculous.

REP: Well, thanks to Sleepy Joe they can’t get any help. Nobody wants to wait tables or work in retail.

DEM: The President is working day and night to get this economy rolling again.

REP: When he’s not riding his bike on the beach, you mean.

DEM: The stimulus packages have been very successful.

REP: Successful in paying people not to work, that’s for sure. Why get a job when you can make more sitting around doing nothing all day?

DEM: Does that mean you believe American workers don’t want to work for a living?

REP:  I can think of one who sure takes a lot of time off.

DEM: Are you suggesting our President is shirking his duties?

REP: Well, let’s see. There are 15,000 illegal immigrants camped out under a bridge in Del Rio, Texas. And that’s just one location on the border.

DEM: Vice President Harris is in charge of that.

REP: Really?

DEM: And the President has complete faith in her ability to handle the situation.

REP: So, he’s passing the buck on that one, eh?

DEM: The President has complete faith in the Vice President’s ability to handle the situation.

REP: Is Kamala also in charge of slapping France in the face?

DEM: I believe that would fall under the State Department’s purview.

REP: What about the exit disaster in Afghanistan?

DEM: The President was simply following the advice of the Pentagon.

REP: And the misguided drone strike?

DEM: The President was simply following the advice of the Pentagon.

REP: You sound a lot like Jen Psaki in a news briefing.

DEM: Who do you think tells her what to say?

REP: Why does Biden refuse to answer questions from reporters?

DEM: He answered one fairly recently.

REP: What kind of ice cream he likes doesn’t count.

DEM: Hey, he answered a question, didn’t he? And without notes.

REP: Is the No Questions Allowed Policy going to continue?

DEM: If it ain’t broke, don’t fix it. Besides, it’s only Fox that keeps bringing up the issue.

REP: Anything new on Hunter? Has he lost any more computers lately?

DEM: Hunter is a good boy. That’s our story, and we’re sticking with it.

REP: Does the President know the name of the Australian Prime Minister yet?

DEM: You know, there are 193 countries that the U.N recognizes. It’s really hard to keep track of every leader.

REP: Even one you’re sharing submarine secrets with?

DEM: Why don’t we order our food? I understand the pork here is excellent.

REP: Speaking of which, have you gone grocery shopping lately. From the time you pick up the hamburger in the meat section until you get to the checkout lane prices have gone up.

DEM: Which is why it’s so important to pass the $1.2 trillion infrastructure bill and the $3.5 trillion family infrastructure package.

REP: Uh-huh. Well, you did mention pork. Biden still planning on taxing the rich to pay for all that, is he?

DEM: Of course.

REP: What happens when they run out of money?

DEM: We’ll cross that bridge when we come to it.

REP: Joe Biden’s rich, isn’t he?

DEM: Let’s move on, shall we?

REP: Has the President looked at the Covid numbers lately?

DEM: He can’t help it if some of your wacko supporters won’t wear a mask and get vaccinated.

REP: I’m pretty sure neither of us has cornered the market on wackos.

DEM: Touché.

REP: So, to kind of sum up the situation, the economy is tanking, Covid is running rampant again, the withdrawal from Afghanistan was a complete fiasco, inflation is headed skyward, the invasion on the border is allowing tens of thousands of unknowns into our country, one of our longest and strongest allies hates us, trillions of dollars we don’t have are about to be spent, and more than half the country thinks the President takes more naps than a cat on a window sill in the sunshine.

DEM: According to you.

REP: You must be pretty worried about the elections next year.

DEM: Not really.

REP: You’re kidding, right?

DEM: Nope. We still have one big thing going for us with President Biden.

REP: And what’s that?

DEM: He’s not Donald Trump.


©MMXXI. William J. Lewis, III – Freelance Writer