Were you one of the umpteen million viewers (or is that voyeurs) who tuned in to watch Oprah ask transplanted British Prince Harry and his American wife Meghan deeply probing questions about why they took a powder and kissed the United Kingdom goodbye?

It’s no secret we long, long ago subjects of the British empire tend to have a fascination with all things Royal. The closest thing we have to such a thing in this country is a president. (Well, some might say the Kennedys, but their tiaras are tarnishing as the years go by.) And while presidents and their families can often provide fodder for the water cooler, not even the Donald Trump era came close to providing the same kind of beguilement we have with Queen Elizabeth and her progeny.

Thus, a large number of We the People were tuned into the most recent “tell-all” event, hoping to get the real inside scoop on palace peccadillos and imperial intrigue. And, according to reports, there seemed to be enough red meat thrown out to satisfy hungry Windsor-watching wolves.

For those who were watching NBA All-Star Stephen Curry launch half-court shots and may have missed the show, highlights included tidbits such as the fact that Meghan and Harry will soon have a baby daughter to go along with son Archie. (Alas, Oprah did not ask if Archie was named after Jughead’s friend in the comic books.) And in other news, apparently while there had been a strained relationship with William’s wife at the time of Meghan and Harry’s wedding, Kate eventually fessed up that it had really been her fault and she even sent flowers to mend the rift.

Speaking of the wedding, it seems H and M actually were already hitched before the pomp and circumstance event. It was revealed that vows were exchanged three days before the televised spectacle.

On a more serious note, because Meghan is bi-racial, there were hints of royal racism, but the Queen herself came out looking pretty good. Meghan indicated Liz had always been nice to her. And as for giving up their public duties, Harry indicated Grandmum had been kept apprised of his thinking. His father, though, quit taking his calls for a bit, and while Harry said his relationship with his brother is strained, you have to wonder if part of that issue is William thinking, “It’s not fair. Harry gets to go live in California while I’m stuck here in London with rain and fog all the time, not to mention Camilla.”

Sadly, Meghan apparently went through some serious depression, which helped prompt the exodus. It was “the institution,” she suggested, that really was to blame – the palace staffers, if you will. One quote I saw said, “I came to understand not only was I not being protected, but that they were willing to lie to protect other members of the family, but they weren’t willing to tell the truth to protect me and my husband.”

Reason enough to want to get out of Dodge (or Piccadilly at least). Add to that the tabloid turmoil that is part and parcel of being an heir to the throne. No doubt the constant attempt by the British press to catch any Royal doing something un-Royal would easily become tiresome and actually make you fearful of your safety. (Especially given what happened to Harry’s mother, Diana.) It is, however, just a bit ironic that intrigue and interest in Harry and Meghan’s life hasn’t slackened off much, given that their faces have been plastered on grocery check-out-line magazines since their U.S. arrival. And this tete-a-tete with Oprah won’t do anything to lessen that exposure.

Nor will this “what-if” I’ll put forth: Suppose the whole idea of the Windsors being here in America is nothing but a set-up, a plot to take back the colonies? First, Harry marries an American girl. Then he orchestrates a supposed rift with the royal household and moves his family to Canada. But they don’t stay there long. Instead, they’re welcomed with open arms to the left coast of America, where they can hobnob with the glitterati and get “in” with the “in” crowd. In short order, Harry and Meghan become beloved. Perhaps he goes so far as to become a citizen. And in California, it’s not unheard of for a foreign-born person to become Governor.

Granted, that’s a big if. And it may take some time. But what if it does happen? Then, when William takes over the throne, the coup takes place. We’re so divided as a nation we don’t even see it coming. Pretty soon thereafter, Harry’s in charge of America and once again, it’s Rule Britannia.

Wonder why Oprah didn’t ask about that?

 

©MMXXI. William J. Lewis, III – Freelance Writer