Residents of Georgia these days know it’s virtually impossible to watch TV
(RAPHAEL WARNOCK IS A BUM!),
listen to the radio
(KELLY LOEFFLER IS A BUM!),
drive along a highway or byway
(JON OSSOFF IS A BUM!),
check in with friends online
(DAVID PERDUE IS A BUM!),
or even try to carry on a civil conversation pretty much anywhere
(RAPHAEL WARNOCK IS A SAINT!),
without being constantly interrupted
(KELLY LOEFFLER IS A SAINT!),
by a message from at least one U.S. Senate candidate
(JON OSSOFF IS A SAINT!),
and usually two or three right in a row
(DAVID PERDUE IS A SAINT!).
We the electorate are constantly being told just how wonderful or absolutely rotten all four of these office-seekers are. I’m surprised any real product enticements, like new cars or detergent or chips and dip actually make it on the airwaves. Progressive, Liberty, and GEICO insurance companies all seem to squeeze in occasionally, but that’s about it. I never thought I’d say this, but I really can’t wait for Flo and the Emu and the Gecko to be back on the air sponsoring everything in sight.
(RAPHAEL WARNOCK PRAISES COMMUNISTS!)
Adding to the visual vicissitudes are daily mailings that constitute most of any given day’s delivery from the U.S. Postal Service.
(KELLY LOEFFLER ABHORS POOR PEOPLE!)
If the positive ads put forth by the candidates and their third-party supporters are to be believed, why, these are four of the most righteous, honest, dependable, smartest, and kindest people who ever walked the Earth.
(JON OSSOFF LOVES TAXES AND HATES POLICE!)
If the negative ads are embraced, well, the same four are lower than snakes, dirtier than vermin, dumber than dimwits, and generally the poorest excuses for humans as ever lived.
(DAVID PERDUE MADE MILLIONS ON COVID!)
Rumor has it that some astronomical dollar figure approaching $500 million is being spent by the collective campaigns, national parties, and supposedly non-connected groups wanting to make sure their message gets out.
(RAPHEAL WARNOCK IS A MAN OF THE PEOPLE!)
It’s actually kind of difficult to extract fact from fiction. If anyone is paying attention, that is. I mean, the road leading up to the general election in November was littered with the same kind of messaging we’re getting now from the candidates.
(KELLY LOEFFLER IS A SELF-MADE SUCCESS STORY!)
And, quite honestly, I would think most people have long ago made up their minds on how they plan to vote.
(JON OSSOFF IS A VOICE FOR THE DOWNTRODDEN!)
We probably could have held this election a week after November 3rd and saved a lot of money and headaches.
(DAVID PERDUE UPHOLDS THE CONSITUTION DAILY!)
But why should there be any logic associated with this run-off election? It’s politics, isn’t it?
(RAPHAEL WARNOCK RAN OVER HIS WIFE’S FOOT!)
You have to wonder how much of the rhetoric is going in one ear and out the other of the masses.
(KELLY LOEFFLER IS OPPOSED TO BLACK LIVES MATTER!)
We the People are far from stupid, but you’d never know it by all the “true” facts and slanted innuendos being thrown at us continuously.
(JON OSSOFF WORKS FOR THE CHINESE GOVERNMENT!)
Since we have early voting in Georgia, wouldn’t it be nice if we could all tell the four campaigns, “Hey, look, I voted today. So, you’re wasting your money. I don’t need to hear any more commercials or receive any more mailings. Just take me off the list.”
(DAVID PERDUE IS RICH AND YOU’RE NOT!)
Surely the technology exists to block ads on TV and the internet social media sites one visits. And postal lists can easily be updated.
(TRUMP’S A BUM!)
(BIDEN’S A BUM!)
(Oops. Those must have been leftovers.)
By now pretty much all of us have a very good idea on where everyone running stands on the issues. And we’re well aware of what this election means to the balance of power in Congress. To be quite honest, a candidate might be better off and attract more voters if, for the last few days of the campaign, he/she ran Bugs Bunny cartoons instead of derogatory messages against an opponent. We’d probably watch those more closely. Feel free to still end each one by saying, “I’m NAME HERE, and I approved this message.”
Or here’s a novel thought: Instead of forking over further millions to television and radio stations, printing companies, and online media giants, why not donate that money to buy Personal Protection Equipment for front-line folks. Or distribute vaccines. Now those are campaigns we can all get behind. No name-calling needed. Voters may even have something nice to say about that candidate.
©MMXX. William J. Lewis, III – Freelance Writer