Is there anybody that hasn’t played a game of Monopolyat least once in your life? It’s a great way to learn about buying and selling real estate (not to mention learning the names of streets in Atlantic City). I can remember investing many l-o-n-g hours as a kid battling friends and family to see who could reign supreme as a tycoon landholder. (Donald Trump must have REALLY liked the game since he has pretty much played it in real life.)

The Parker Brothers’ original version of Monopolydebuted in 1935. Since that time there have been over 140 versions produced, including those based on The OfficeTV show, Pirates of the CaribbeanAvengers, Disney Theme Park, U-Build, Gamer and Stranger Things, plus many local variants as well. 

The latest iteration is Ms. Monopoly. Just recently released, Ms. Monopolyhas a few different rules. It seems instead of building houses, players build corporate headquarters, and celebrate scientific achievements and other things created by women. Plus, in a nod to reversing gender-based workplace pay gaps, when women players pass “GO,” they get $240 while men still only get $200.

Given an obvious bent toward making a buck on contemporary culture, it occurs to me that Hasbro (the current Monopolycorporate owners) is missing out on a real opportunity to cash in on even more versions. With the country philosophically divided politically (to say the least), I think the company might want to look into a couple of skewed ways to play the game. 

For example:

Hasbro could create a Democrat version of the game where all properties are free and everybody gets to share in whatever rent is collected. The only exception is for Boardwalk and Park Place. If you land on either of those two, or end up owning both, you have to pay for everyone else’s properties. You don’t have to pass “GO” to get a handout either. Money will be given to you for landing by yourself on any property not otherwise occupied by another player, so you don’t feel left out. There is no Jail in this version either. Instead, there’s a directional card that sends you to a rehab rectangle. You never have to pay for electricity or water as these utilities will be covered by the person who owns Boardwalk.

Players in this version can roll the dice as many times as they like per turn in order to land on the specific piece of property they desire. And if they don’t want to take a turn, they don’t have to. No pressure. Any halfway houses or homeless shelters built on properties will be jointly owned by everyone playing the game. If someone somehow runs out of money, that player will be permitted to get an interest-free loan from the bank, no questions asked.

Instead of the racecar, top hat, boot, battleship, and Scottie dog, players will use icons in the shape of a solar panel, an iceberg (that shrinks as the game progresses), rainbow flag, marijuana plant, and a sombrero.

The Community Chest cards will have directions such as, “Hug the player to your right and give him/her/them a gift,” “Go visit anyone’s rectangle without asking,” and “Collect $200 because you walked to your friend’s house to play the game.” 

In the Republican version, the game starts with one person already owning every property. Except Baltic and Mediterranean, which are crummy little third-world chattels that no one really wants to deal with anyhow. And when you land on any other property, you have to make a deal with the owner to either rent space on the rectangle or move on. Moving on can cost you more, or you could even end up bankrupt and in jail. And there is no Free space in this version. Everybody pays his/her own way. 

There are no “do-overs” with the dice. You play what you roll. Although, you can buy an extra roll if you have enough cash. Each of the four railroads will be replaced by private plane manufacturers. So instead of a card that says, “Take a ride on the Reading,” there’s one that will say, “Wheels up in your Gulfstream.”

In this version, the game icons are a Colt .45, MAGA hat, gold cuff link, Cuban cigar, and a Lincoln Continental key fob.

Community Chest cards in the Republican version will read, “Claim St. Charles Place with a vicious and unfriendly corporate takeover,” “Bail out the bank and reward yourself with $1000,” and “Buy out the guy on your left for pennies on the dollar.”

Who’s ready to play?

©MMXIX. William J. Lewis, III – Freelance Writer