Although I wasn’t personally present at the time to know for certain, I’m reasonably sure that the first mother on Earth, Eve, told her sons, “If you can’t say something nice, don’t say anything at all.” And moms have been repeating that sound advice ever since. You probably heard it. I heard it. Most of the people you know heard it. Apparently, though, some politicians in Washington, D.C., never got the message. Pity.

Nasty comments have always been part and parcel of campaigns and countless closed-door conversations in myriad federal buildings. For the most part, words such as “the Honorable,” “my distinguished colleague,” and “the gentleman (woman) from (state)” have usually preceded a civil diatribe against someone espousing an opposing view from the speaker. And those denunciations have often been couched in phrases that might sting but sound decent. For example, “Bless his heart,” is a nice southern way to often say someone is a fool without being so blunt about it.

This week, however, some debris has flown right into a fan. And it was pretty darned ugly.

Those familiar with this column will know I often like to imagine conversations, the contents of which were never made public. Often, the comments attributed to many and varied participants in those discussions are meant to be a bit (or a lot) far-fetched.

Alas, try as I might, I’m pretty sure I couldn’t have invented anything even close to the actual words these past few days that were reported emanating from the mouths (and thumbs) of office holders We the People put in power.

At least, in a nod to bipartisanship, this most recent dastardly discourse involved members of both political parties. And while the barbs were not recently developed, the invective surely reached a new level of low. There’s really no need to rehash the comments, only to point out that it’s becoming more and more difficult for news organizations to accurately quote politicians without violating decency laws.

Freshmen representatives have traditionally been seen but not heard. And presidents have, in general, taken the high road. Now we have congresspersons basically invoking on a regular basis John Wilkes Booth’s sic semper tyrannistirade shouted while murdering Abraham Lincoln. And then the target of their constant criticism obviously feels the need to deliver tit for tat. “Nanny-nanny-boo-boo” just doesn’t cut it as a rebuttal anymore. Sadly, there doesn’t seem to be an end in sight. If the participants are embarrassed by their harangues by now, they’re probably not going to change any time soon.

You don’t suppose the opposing entities are doing all this on purpose, do you? I mean, summer is traditionally a slow news period. Official Washington usually goes on vacation the entire month of August. Given political egos, this back and forth just might be a concerted effort by both parties to fan some flames. Shoot, Democrats are having a hard time making accusations stick against the President. Is this just the latest arrow from their quiver? 

Meanwhile, with the battle seemingly raging between Speaker Pelosi and the vociferous newbies in her stable, maybe The Donald wasn’t feeling he was getting enough face time. He does seem to like the bright lights a bit.

Here’s a thought: Mr. Trump knows that, win or lose in 2020, he doesn’t have to worry about living expenses the rest of his life. The four members of The Squad, however, are not independently wealthy or assured of long tenures in office. With that catchy group nickname already in place, they’d be all set up for a TV show down the road. It’s a good bet Fox News would pass on the idea, but several other cable networks might be receptive. The show could be an answer to Fox’s Outnumberedwhere “One Lucky Guy” as they say, offers opinions while sitting on set with four women. 

The Squad could propose their thoughts every day with any number of guests from the political and entertainment world. Congressmen Jerry Nadler and Adam Shiff might drop by, or even Joe Biden. And it doesn’t have to be a man. Maybe Nancy Pelosi or Cher could put in an appearance, just in case a ratings boost was needed.

But I digress. Before things get too much further out of hand (if that’s possible), maybe everybody could just take a step back and heed Mom’s advice. As Stanley Ipkiss, Jim Carrey’s character in the movie Mask,said with great flair when channeling his supposed superpowers in not so nice ways, “Somebody STOP me!” Ah, were it only that simple.

©MMXIX. William J. Lewis, III – Freelance writer