Have you ever watched an episode of the show Designated Survivor? If not, it’s all about an unelected President of the United States being thrust into the most powerful job in the world because he was the only Cabinet member left after a bomb blows up the Capitol during a State of the Union Address. Keifer Sutherland portrays the Commander-in-Chief and faces crisis after crisis on a daily basis. His President Kirkman barely has time to pivot from one calamity to the next throughout each episode.

When I first saw the program, I thought the non-stop catastrophes, tragedies, misfortunes, and disasters Sutherland’s character had to deal with made for exciting viewing, but were a bit far-fetched. Now, I’m not so sure it was an unrealistic portrayal. It’s a safe bet that there’s never a dull day around the White House. It doesn’t matter who’s sitting in the leather Oval Office chair. Nothing trivial ever hits the occupant’s desk. To be sure, there are the occasional photo ops with a winning sports team, or congratulatory hugs to the top cookie-selling Girl Scouts, or official proclamations about National Donut Day, or other worthy celebrations. But most of the President’s time is taken up with matters of significant importance.

Just within the last few months, there have been issues arise that by themselves would be enough to make most of us mere mortals slink off into a dark corner and beg someone else to make a decision. Presidents, though, can’t hide. Once they’ve taken the oath of office, they’re on the hook to deal with whatever comes their way.

Designated Survivordoes a good job of working real world scenarios into fictional stories. I’m wondering if the show might look into recent events, and condense and coalesce them into an upcoming episode. Perhaps the script would go something like this:

PRES: Good-looking sunrise. Might be able to play nine holes this afternoon. What’s on the agenda today?

AIDE 1: Well, sir, your nominee for the Supreme Court is talking to Congress about his sexual history.

PRES: Refresh my memory, is that standard procedure?

AIDE 1: Not that we know of.

PRES: (sigh) Okay. Let me know what he says.

AIDE 2: (bursting through the door) Mr. President, we just got word that there’s a hurricane coming ashore in North Carolina, wrecking havoc on several cities.

PRES: Call the Governor, mobilize the National Guard, get FEMA down there as soon as possible, and keep the Waffle Houses open.

AIDE 2: Yes, sir. Limited menu okay at the Waffle Houses?

PRES: Hash browns and eggs will be fine.

AIDE 3: (also bursting in) Sir, thousands of people from Guatemala, Honduras, and El Salvador are marching toward Texas.

PRES: Men, women, and children?

AIDE 3: All of the above.

PRES: Is Mexico going to stop them?

AIDE: Best guess is no.

PRES: Get me the President of Mexico on the line.

AIDE 3: Should we do a reprint of the “You can’t come in unless you go through the proper channels” flyers?

PRES: Good idea. Airdrop them along with bottled water. They’re probably thirsty.

AIDE 4: (requisite door burst) Sir, Canada just legalized marijuana for recreational use.

PRES: What? Have they run out of Molson? You know, that may not be such a bad thing. Other than hockey and ice fishing, they don’t really have much to do in January and February for fun. I would suggest you all buy stock in potato chips and brownie mix.

AIDE 5: (again with the burst) Sir, there’s a Category 5 hurricane headed toward the Florida panhandle.

PRES: I thought you said the North Carolina coast.

AIDE 5: Different storm.

PRES: Governor, Guard, FEMA – same as before.

AIDE 5: Should we see if some of those Canadian snowbirds can bring a little something extra for the victims, if you know what I mean.

PRES: Not a bad thought. But, I see nothing, I hear nothing.

AIDE 5: Understood, sir.

AIDE 6: (one more burst) Sir, the Crown Prince of Saudi Arabia ordered a hit on a Washington Postjournalist.

PRES: Oh, c’mon.

AIDE 7: (just entering, no bursting) Sir, your former opponent is calling you nasty names on television.

PRES: Thank goodness. Something normal for a change. Turn it on. I can use a chuckle or two about now.

AIDES 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6: (in unison) Sir, about the . . .

PRES: Wait a minute. That’s enough. Let’s save something for after lunch.

I’m pretty sure Designated Survivorwould win an Emmy for that episode. Except it’ll never get produced. Nobody would ever believe it.

 

©MMXVIII. William J. Lewis, III – Freelance writer